Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
