I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
