she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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