he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
