Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
