The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
