Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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