i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
