i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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