We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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