We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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