she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
