I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
