Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
