the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize