i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You don't make any sense
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