I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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