You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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