Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
