It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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