420 ftw
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
