I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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