Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
