I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We left an ass print on the piano.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
