i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
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Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.