How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo