I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
