She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
