does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
