Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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