i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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