take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Someone came in the potted fern
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
