apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
