Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize