it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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