oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
