I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
