can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
