and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
