i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
