I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
