Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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