he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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