Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
