do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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