What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found puke in my bra..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
