Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
