I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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