small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
