yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
