I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
