He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize