Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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