Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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