I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
