I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We are two peas in an std pod
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize