Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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