I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
