eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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