he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
