As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
