non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
