i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
