I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
