Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
