come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
