i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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