i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
